magic coffee

decaf coffee misrepresented as the real stuff. Often done in the catering industry, where both both regular and decaf coffee are actually decaf. the waiter will often serve coffee, return the the kitchen and emerge with the same pot of coffee for the guests who requested decaf (because it actually is decaf). Some waiters will say an incantation over the pot in the kitchen (converting it to either reg or decaf)

Waiter 1: Are we doing regular AND decaf coffee this evening

Waiter 2: Nope, just magic coffee today.

6👍 2👎

drunkBay purchase

To buy something on eBay when you are so drunk A) you would have never have bought it sober or B) you don't remember buying it when you sober up.

The mailman just delivered something. I hope it isn't another one of your drunkBay purchases.

Q Where the hell did you get that ugly shirt?
A It was a drunkBay purchase

spit on the floor and call the dog a bastard

Make yourself at home, get comfortable, act like you own the place, mi casa es su casa. An exclamation of welcome.

Hey, welcome to my house. Sit down, make yourself comfortable, spit on the floor and call the dog a bastard.

20👍 8👎