Spud Muck

Euphemism for the gentlemen's relish more formally known as semen. Formulated in said gentlemen's Love Spuds and delivered to any willing recipient as a gooey Muck.

Alternative:- Two characters from the popular children's book and cartoon series Bob the Builder.

Bob. "That was one cute redhead you were talking to on the train this morning"!
Me. "Too right, she is smokin hot. I wonder if my Yorkshire charm will get me the opportunity to donate her some Spud Muck".
Bob. "I wonder if she takes it up cornhole"?
Me. "I think she'd like that".

Stool Surfing

The act of making full use of modern smartphone technology to skive work by surfing the internet whilst sat on the toilet doing your own download.

Boss. "Where's that teaboy gone, I haven't seen him for ages"?
Me. "He will be sat on the bog stool surfing".
Boss. "When he gets back I'll cram that phone so far up his cornhole he won't sit down for a week"!
Me. "I think he'd like that too".

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