Zhongli

A man claiming to be the funeral consultant of the wangsheng funeral parlor, but is actually a delicious dragon god with the fattest ass in gaming history. His magical schlong, when summoned, is able to kill enemies, giving him the nickname of big dong zhong or schlongli.

Most times he defeats gods just by standing there ,watching his enemies nut to death because he’s so sexy. His sex appeal will have you on your KNEES and vomiting your entire life savings. Your life now REVOLVES around him. He is your god now.

It doesn’t matter that he’s a senior citizen on life support who commits embezzlement, you have peepaw issues and gilfs are hot.

Metaslave: “Bro Zhongli sucks, he barely does damage.”
Enlightened Zhongli simp: “Bitch have you seen that big dick and fat ass? He’s getting more pussy than anyone in the game. So, Mihoyo nerfed him to balance it out.”
Metaslave: “Oh shit yeah...now I kinda wanna suck him off ngl.”

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