æ-tensing

A sound change that Americans invented to make British infiltrators easier to detect.

He pronounced "hand" as hænd rather than hɛənd, with no æ-tensing , so we knew to be suspicious of him.

Colonel American

The dialect of American English spoken among the social strata whose members have the greatest opportunity to become linguists. Often erroneously described as a General, despite not having earned such a promotion.

There's no rod-ride merger in Colonel American.