Circumcision

Ooooooooooowwww! (from the Latin for "oooooooowwww!")

Circumcision? "Uhh...could you talk about something else? Like prison rape? Anything?" -Jim Gaffigan

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Jim Gaffigan

Pale

"...my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John."
-Jim Gaffigan

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Bowling

1) The activity you do after you've done everything else
2) The lazy man's sport
3) The germaphobe's nightmare

"There are two types of people who go bowling: there are the people that really, really love bowling, and then there are the people that are like 'wouldn't it be hysterical if we went bowling?'"
"Well, we could go bowling...or we could just hang ourselves..."
"Oh, you went bowling? Glad I couldn't make it."
"If you're sweating while you're bowling, you're out of shape. And if you're out of shape and you're bowling, you're probably a professional bowler."
"Here, put on these moist shoes ten thousand people have worn, and stick your fingers in these dirty holes. Now you have the flu."
-Jim Gaffigan

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