qwerty flirty

Being very flirtacious through the use of emoticons and acronyms.

20s Singles chat room rife with qwerty flirty behavior:

cooldude22: OMG ILY soooo much sooo much
sweetchick7: I <3 U
cooldude22: : )
cooldude22: ;) I <3 U ;)
cooldude22: UR SOOOOO HOT - I L Y BABY
sweetchick7: :*
cooldude22: ooooh you're soooo lovely - omg omg ILY
sweetchick7: oh I luv u 2 baby - btw, watcha look like
cooldude22: ummm... well honestly I'm a 47 year old man with a lovely beer belly and some old sneakers, but omg u r sooooo hot!

20👍 13👎

Constipational

The belief that the Constitution is a perfect and totally infallible document. Also the belief that the Constitution allows everyone to do almost anything they like as long as it doesn't "hurt" anyone else, at least as long it doesn't seem to hurt anyone else in libs' eyes. Also, they take their interpretation of the Constitution to be the only possible interpretation, when in fact there are many different interpretations of the Constitution. Why do you think Supreme Court judges differ on what they think the Constitution means?

Constipational people don't want to listen to rational arguments or different interpretations of the Constitution. A constipational person will argue for abortion rights and same-sex marriage and use the Constitution to try to prove their point.

6👍 16👎

The Typing of the Dead

The Typing of the Dead is the best typing game ever created. This awesome and unbelievable unique game, created by Sega and with the assistance of Smilebit(to remake the game into English), forces you to learn how to type correctly. Basically, this game is the house of the dead 2 except instead of shooting the zombies with guns you shoot them with your strapped-on keyboard. This game makes you type funny and sweet phrases like "geisha waltz", "nasal wig", "bahama mama", and "hot babes". In Japan Sega is working to release "The Typing of the Dead 2" so keep your fingers crossed for it to be ported to come to the US.

Dude 1: "Hey dude, wanna come over today and play some Xbox?"

Dude 2: "Naah, man. I'd rather play The Typing of the Dead. You get to type zombies to death."

Dude 1: "WTF are you talking about? The what of the dead?"

Dude 2: "It's the best typing tutor ever. It beats the hell out of Mavic Beacon. It's really simple: Type or Die."

Dude 1: "Fashizzle. I need to work on my typing skills myself. Let me see this game."

11👍 6👎

hairy prodder

Another name for Harry Potter, so called because it gets on your nerves like a big hairy stick poking you in the neck while you sleep.

My nephew already read Hairy Prodder ten times. I feel sorry for his poor soul.

3👍 3👎

smacronym

An acronym that disses or satires the commonly associated acronym. So instead of NBA meaning "national basketball association" it could be "nothing but airheads."

FEMA - Failure to Effectively Manage Anything
ETS - Evil Testing Serpent (see awesome book Up Your Score)
NCAA - Nothing Collegiate About the Athletes
UN - Useless Neutrality
MCAT - Miserable Cramming After Twilight
NHS - Nasty Hoes' Society
USC - University of Second Choice
TTYC - Too Talkative, You Crackhead
HONDA- History Of No Dramatic Acceleration

All of the big acronyms used in the media can be converted to smacronyms.

6👍 5👎

femacrocy

The type of bureaucracy that is in FEMA - they'll keep you waiting for months and send you a dozen people to do the same job and ask the same questions.

I got really pissed at the femacrocy the other day, because for the tenth time someone came to our house to ask us if our trailer was ready to get picked up. Even though we told them we wanted it picked up five months ago.

3👍 2👎

pseudodivorce

When a couple divorces but still cohabit together. This kind of divorce is apparently dangerous, as demonstrated by the news about a Russian woman who set her ex-husband's schlong on fire while he was naked and watching TV.

They said they were together because of the high property costs over in Russia. But gosh, that's a high price to pay for that dude who had his dicked set on fire.

Tom: "Hey, you know, even though Liz and I divorced - we decided that we'll still cohabit because we both could save a lot of money that way."

Matt: "Uhh... you know, not to sound like a prude or bossy or anything, but you know, that's a bad idea. No, let's make that extremely bad idea dude. For your own good dude find your own place. What you're talking about there is pseudodivorce."

Tom: "Huh? What are you talking about dude?"

Matt: "Did you hear about that poor Russian guy on the news, bro? His ex wife, who he was still living with, got really pissed at him one day and set his dick on fire."

Tom: "What!?!? Get out of here, dude. You gotta be kidding me."

Matt: "No lie, man. It was on the major news outlets. I mean, perhaps the guy was a dick and that's why she set his dick on fire, but I think their cohabitation had at least something to do with it. I mean, come on dude, is it worth the risk? And who knows what other things could happen to you in that fashion dude. I don't even want to think of it."

Tom: "You know, I think you got a point. I'm going to try to find a way for me to find my own place. And if all else fails I'll just have to head over to Uncle Joe's house."

Matt: "Yeah, I mean - better safe than sorry huh. I hope it works out for you though and you find someone else."

Tom: "Hope so man. But thanks for the advice."