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Random
Wisdom from an old and weary man or woman who grew up in the harsh urban environment and went to the School of Hard Knocks.
Tim: "Man, yesterday I had a talk with my old uncle Joe. That dude has a lot of wizzledom. He told me how to win over ladies, how to find good deals, how to get out of legal trouble, and even how to make a kiss-ass stereo."
Gavin: "Wow, I wish my gramps had that kind of know-how, but the poor guy got alzheimers."
1π 31π
Phrases that are so ambiguous and that can possibly have a sexual meaning.
Some double entendres that have cropped up on news and TV shows:
News anchor: "So the weather today is warm and wet. How are you Lisa, warm and wet as well?"
News guy: "So today in major league basketball...football... I mean baseball, uhh I got my balls screwed up."
Guy on daytime show: "So I've got a hard one for you Jen."
399π 167π
What you so to someone who tries to play you with a cheap ass dumb trick. Or you can say that to a young child when they play peekaboo with you, or keep annoying you perhaps.
Niece: "Hey you can't see meeee. Hahahahaha..."
Uncle: "Silly rabbit tricks are for kids."
Niece: "Haaahahahahaa... can we go to Chuck E'Cheese now?"
Uncle: "Aight, that's cool with me. It's been too long since I've played that skeetball game."
Niece: "ahahaahahahahhahaha..."
Uncle: "What's funny now? Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids."
Niece: "Hahahahahaha"
59π 163π
A fancy way of saying that you're randy.
I was feeling rhinoceros-like yesterday when I saw my old Spanish teacher.
The epitome of a very easy job with a decent salary. See Vanna White.
Jessie: "Dude, did you hear about Larry's new job? He gets paid to supervise a robot that does all the work. What a sinecure. Oh and Mindy? She just got hired to work as a paralegal at Horithups & Wellesley, where all she has to do is run spell-checks on the lawyer's documents."
Adam: "WTF? Where do you sign up for these gigs? It seems all the jobs I get are McJobs where I work my ass off for minimum wage. Geez... what has this world come to?"
19π 2π
When a person repeatedly thrusts the gas pump in and out of his car, trying to get every last drop of gasoline out of the hose and into the car.
...One day, perhaps two or three years from now, gas prices will get so high that at gas stations everywhere customers will be gas humping so much that they'll need to create all-steel pumps to prevent breaking of the pumps.
"I went to the gas station the other day and saw this perverted old man around 70 who looked like he was trying to screw his big Cadillac Deville. Upon closer inspection I saw he was just gas humping."
The fizzle that comes out of sodas, fancy waters, and jacuzzis.
Perfect vacation: laying back in the jacuzzi, watching a movie, drinking some mango juice, and feeling the hydrofizzle tickle me all over.
4π 1π