beereal

One whom has not the milk to fill one's bowl of cereal, thusly substituting beer instead.

Dude 1 : "Man, I'm freaking drunk. And hungry! I'm gonna have some cereal!"

Dude 2 : "... But dude... We're outta milk!"

Dude 1 : "Ah shit dude... WELL... there's beer!! Fuck it! I'll just have some beereal!"

Jizz Tickets

A plain, simple, preferably cheap although not too cheap or it sticks to the skin roll of toilet paper cleverly hidden in one's room for usage of cleaning up one's mess proceeding a successful wanking.

"Where has internet porn been all my life?! . . . Also, where are the Jizz Tickets?. . ."