micklethwist

The greatest beach bocce player of past, present, and future.

Winner of the 2020 USBBO, Winner of the 2021 USBBO, Winner of the 2022 USBBO, Winner of the 2023 USBBO, 13-time defending champion of Chuck at the Tuck, put Christmas back on the map, proud owner of Seve’s book… sometimes he dominates without even trying, get better… put your hands together for the one, the only… Mickle… Thwiiist!!!

*sincere claps from audience, a few boos*

Micklethwist: 1v1, it’s just me, and Jordan. Never lost.

amporporatus

When Zeus gives a dolphin the option of either being struck by lightning or selling real estate.

When people ask me what my dolphin job is, I tell them that I had an amporporatus last year, and they can use that information to infer that I am a real estate agent.

Moib

The void between your seat and the center console.

I dropped my phone in the moib.

ptaindelka

Banging all available silverware on one’s front porch in protest of an incoming tornado

That twister would’ve taken a hard right down Cedar if Jimmy would’ve remembered the spoons. The ptaindelka was incomplete, and now we’re staying with the Smurf worship commune.

Dirk

The guy who used to work as the Poughkeepsie Pigeons minor league hockey team mascot. After retiring, he kept the T-shirt cannon he used to use on his zamboni rides. He currently wreaks havoc with it at war reenactments by flankstankbeebeeing people.

You idiot, you were supposed to take Dirk off the email thread!

flankstankbeebee

When invited to a war reenactment, instead of properly participating, you bring a T-shirt cannon with dog poop as ammo, find a stealthy spot in range of the opponent’s base, and fire away over their wall to gross them out, allowing your side to move in and win, and angering everyone in the process

That’s Dirk’s fourth flankstankbeebee this year, who keeps inviting him to these things?

Zeeb

A slang term for a referee. Short for zebra, which the black-and-white striped officiating shirt loosely resembles.

Fuckin' zeebs can't tell the difference between holding and pass interference, can we please get some full-time employees?