grow a spine

To acquire strength of character; to display backbone in the face of adversity.

Empathy has its place, but many times what we think is supportive is really only prolonging the process. It’s only by being in enough pain that people become willing to do what they need to. In other words, these three magic words ("grow a spine") can help push people toward, rather than trying to prevent, their breaking point.

Dope: "Oh poor me. What should I do?"
Badass: "Grow a spine and make the choices that someone with self-respect would make."

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