Dog Toy

When someone tells you a story and the whole time you’re thinking “stfu bitch, I know not a single word coming out of your mouth is true.”

Mandy: “Did you hear Becky slept with Principal Lincoln? He is giving her all A’s in all of her classes and naming her student of the month. He even bought her a car for her 18th birthday!”

Me: *yeah, okay, I’m calling dog toy.. Principal Lincoln can’t even afford to buy himself a car.*