ace-hole

another way of saying asshole, often applied to a golf player when that player is a sore loser.

Person 1: Dude, you lost. Accept it, ace-hole.
Person 2: Fuck you!

12👍 6👎

Job Shopping

The act of going into every store you want to work in and asking for a job. Usually practiced by teenagers during vacation.

Bob: Hey want to come over later? I was thinking we could go to the mall and make fun of tourists, maybe buy some stuff.
Jim: Nah I gotta go job shopping before I can afford to go shopping anywhere else.

4👍 1👎

shittybitch

An interjection that combines both "shit" and "bitch", thereby giving it high status in the world of profanity.

Guy 1: Dude, I did you mom.
Guy 2: Shittybitch!

Guy 1: Your girlfriend's fuckin' ugly.
Guy 2: Shittybitch!

Guy 1: 2-dollar whores are better than 10-dollar whores.
Guy 2: Shittybitch!

4👍 3👎

Class Clownician

A person so experienced at being class clown that hopelessly unfunny students come to him for advice.

Bob: Dude wanna come to my house?
Jimmy: Nah I have an appointment with my class clownician.
Bob: How much is he asking?
Jimmy: It's 10 bucks an hour, but if you tell a good joke at the end of the session he'll only charge you five.
Bob: But you suck at telling jokes.
Jimmy: I know. For me he usually charges an additional fee.

10👍 2👎

single virgin

A character trait that, once revealed, makes horny women hungry for you.

Me: "I'm a single virgin. Always have been."
Random Whore: "Ooh.."
Random whore moves in close.
You know what happens next...

9👍 2👎

Christian Rock

A sub-genre of rock that will always be second-rate due to atheists' superior headbanging skills.

Guy 1: Hey wanna listen to some Christian rock?
Guy 2: Sorry, dude, atheists are just too good at headbanging.
Guy 1: How come they're so good?
Guy 2: Christians believe in standing upright at all times, like Jesus.
Guy 1: Jesus wasn't standing upright when he was dragging his cross.
Guy 2: Yeah, well, look what happened to him.
Guy 1: So you're saying that lack of faith in a divine power will make one more hardcore?
Guy 2: For a beginner you're pretty good at disbelief. Kudos.

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Dane Cook

Anybody with a boner for Kool-Aid.

Dane Cook: "He would come crashing through your fuckin' wall and be like, 'Oh yeah! Oh yeah! OOOOOOOH YEAH!'"

5 hours later Dane Cook is chilling in his LA penthouse with his girlfriend and his Kool-Aid. Confusing much?

10👍 17👎