small town goggles

if you grow up in a small town, and since the number of available women is lower, the standards are also lower in women.

-small town man - "Dude, check out that chick. You should try to get on that."

-city man - "You know she's like a 2 right? Are you drunk, or are you wearing small town goggles?"

-small town man - "I'm from Berlin, Wisconsin."

-city man - "That explains it..."

371👍 200👎

Christmass text

The very generic sounding text message you receive Christmas day, sometimes from people you forgot you had in your phone.

New Message:

From: Jenna

"Merry Christmas!"

From: Ben

"Have a good Xmas!!!"

ugh, I just got like 5 Christmass texts

3👍 1👎

and then the Packers won the Superbowl

A newer version of the phrase "and then I found ten dollars", incorporating the victory of the Green Bay Packers in Superbowl XLV.

This phrase adds excitement to a story when it obviously ends abruptly and with no point.

-"I was watching this really funny commercial the other day, I guess you had to be there..."

-"oh...cool"

-... and then the Packers won the Superbowl"

-"Aww really? Fucking sweet!"

7👍 2👎

The Jim Look

The classic look that Jim on the TV show "The Office" gives the camera. It is usually seen when Michael does something ridiculous; or after a successful prank on Dwight; sometimes in look of desperation of normalcy.

Dwight: Who put my stapler in jello?!

Jim: (gives the camera The Jim Look)

253👍 86👎

hot and bonered

A more specific version of the phrase "hot and bothered"; where the guy has a boner.

gf: "My bf and I were messing around. I got him all hot and bonered, but I left him with blue balls, cuz he tried to stick it in my ass."

196👍 30👎