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Guam

An island that has fantastic beaches, great food and friendly natives. Fact: The island has over a million Japanese vacationers a year. Very significant considering the size of the island, which is approximately 212 sq miles. Guam is overrun by other nationalities because of unintelligent and noninclusive wording within US immigration laws, which do nothing for small islands. Fact: the natives hold less than half of the entire population. A place where a severe lack of foresight and planning by the USA has resulted in a welfare dependency for many islanders. Fact: Many public assistance programs available in the US, are available to locals as well. Guam is a small island where the shit crap America is known for around the world- is most evident. Case and point- The diet has changed significantly, since the arrival of the American high-fat/fast food diet. Much of hard working values instilled in their culture has disappeared in place of the "couch potato" culture of the US. Many of the natives no longer hold traditional lands, due to the land grab of the US Military during the post-WWII era. This has led to many impoverished natives who were forced to resort to land squatting or renting. The entire world calls America dumb, except for America itself. America calls Guam dumb. Guam, along with the entire world calls America dumb. Does anyone else see the irony of this?

USA: Guam? Is that the shit hole island that nobody likes and is full of lazy, fat, dumb idiots?
WORLD: Um...you fucken idiot America. Why did you just describe yourself? Please shut up, you substandard scoring, uneducated, imbred 13 colonies hick.
USA: Fuck you! I'm a big, bad, war machine! I'll kill you all!
RUSSIA: Try it, bitch... I still have all my cold war missiles.
CHINA: Try it, bitch... You already owe me billions. I got you by the balls with my kung fu grip.
Guam: Anyone want BBQ? It's delicious. America gave me a welfare check for taking all my land. Stupid America....

by anothrdumbmnlnder January 9, 2012

36👍 114👎