edward cullen

Edward Cullen is a Mary Sue written for the sole purpose of encouraging girls aged eleven to fifteen to give up hard earned pocket money to Summit Entertainment and Little Brown and Co. He drives the perfect car. He has the perfect hair. He has the perfect face. He has the perfect body. He is also blindingly white and ice cold, which somehow translates out to sexy.

Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”

Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.

All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.

Hey, what are all those eleven year old girls shrieking about?

They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.

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