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horsemounter

Polite euphemism for horsefucker, often used at dinner parties and other genteel events. If Eric Cartman had said this he wouldn't have been shocked by the V-chip.

Not to be confused with pony smacker.

It might be possible to combine horsemounting with sado-masochism and necrophilia, but that would just be flogging a dead horse.

"I really don't get disgusted by a bit of immaturity in a game. I got a chuckle playing Horror of Rylvania when the game called me a pervert for trying to fuck the horse. Mostly just because it was unexpected. And hey, *mounting* the horse actually netted me a useful item!

MH (the horsef...errr....horsemounter)"
(from rec.arts.int-fiction)

by anuspounder June 12, 2008

8πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž


Yuuzhan Vong

A kinky alien race in the Star Wars expanded universe who are into S/M and bondage. They have a type of weapon called an amphistaff which goes from a limp whip-like shape to a hardened staff shape, and hence are similar to human males. They are also into emo cutting.

They use biotech exclusively, and no regular tech. This means for example, that their doorways are actually the anus and sphincter of some giant animal, and the ship has to open its sphincter to let them off. They enjoy the erotic contractions provided by living armour and clothes. Instead of lubricant they use something called Blorash Jelly.

They worship Jaina Solo, presumably because of her hot ass.

They are able to improve themselves by cutting off parts of their body and replacing them with alien limbs. For example, a Yuuzhan Vong with a tiny dick would castrate himself and implant an elephant trunk or a live snake down there. If it didn't take hold and dropped off, he would be a shamed one. Surprisingly, he would not be shamed by walking round with an elephant trunk hanging out his pants.

The novel Dark Journey features a very erotic sequence involving Yuuzhan Vong Warmaster Tsavong Lah and a female assistant, who he was meant to kill because she interrupted him while he was naked and saw his massive tattooed cock, but he didn't because he had a huge erection for her. Since the Yuuzhan Vong glorify pain and death, sex among them is doubtless extremely interesting to observe.

Major Yuuzhan Vong ships are controlled by tentacle rape monsters called Yammosks which coordinate the entire fleet through tentacles stuck up the anuses of the other living ships.

Tsup, the Yuuzhan Vong word for a sex slave, is introduced in Edge of Victory: Rebirth as an insult used by a shaper master.

Vong web chat would look something like this (except they'd be doing it over villips or something):
Tsulah_Kang1: 0mg u r an infidel n00b i spit on ur shoes u meat-maggot eating on the remains of a shamed one
Vorhuul_Rah: STFU or GTFO u r not worthy u plead for mercy, yun yuuzhan frownz upon j00 rolfmao!1111
Tsulah_Kang1: ur mom was an infidel robotscrewer and u r not worthy 2b in my presence u GTFO
Vorhuul_Rah: Silence or i cum over der and stick my amphistaff in ur jeedai-fucking ass

Uses in everyday conversation:

1. Shut your fucking face, you Yuuzhan-Vong-fucker! You fucked a Yuuzhan Vong in the ass.

2. Why are you jamming that cucumber up your cunt? Are you a Yuuzhan Vong or something?

3. How dare you infidels besmirch the honour of Domain Novartis! Prepare to die!

by anuspounder September 10, 2008

31πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


pigeon fancier

Someone who has sex with pigeons. Usually competes in the sport of pigeon racing. Such a person keeps pigeons sex-starved in an attic for ages, then takes them away on a sultry foreign holiday to a love nest and tries to fuck them in the ass. After this, the pigeons fly away very quickly back to the loft. In this way, people can get the pigeons to race each other to be the first back to the loft.

Probable inspiration for the notorious porn series Stop the Pigeon, in which Dick Dastardly and his dog Muttley tries to capture and rape an especially elusive pigeon.

Not to be confused with turkeystuffer, chicken choker, ravenraper, duckfucker or crowcrammer, nor with the more generic bird lover (see also chicken lover).

"Belgian police have swooped on the homes of pigeon fanciers, seizing large quantities of suspected performance-enhancing drugs." (report on the use of viagra)

"This blog charts the life and times of a somewhat cynical pigeon fancier who spends all his spare time either thinking about or racing pigeons." (website)

by anuspounder June 12, 2008

10πŸ‘ 14πŸ‘Ž


Jizzle

a Jizzle is somebody that has common name like giselle or jackson or any other name that a guy/girl calls them jizzle because they like her and want to get on her nerves OR THEY JUST WANT TO MESS WITH THEM

hey jizzle you look nice today

by anuspounder September 4, 2014


boingaloings

The word ice king uses instead of balls

look he just got kicked in the boingaloings...the boingaloings...

by anuspounder May 18, 2014


Camilla Parker-Bowles

A breed of horse often found in the Windsor area, favoured for riding by some members of the British Royal Family. Much adored by horsemounters.

At the Beijing Olympics, Prince Charles rode into the arena on Camilla Parker-Bowles, but he was beaten by a six-year-old Chinese contestant on crack, riding a dead Tibetan.

by anuspounder September 10, 2008

113πŸ‘ 15πŸ‘Ž


Jon the Goatfucker

Nickname for a person who cannot be taken seriously because of a contemptible act which forever sullies their reputation. Based on an old joke in which a man lists things he doesn't get credit for, instead being nicknamed after one incident of fucking a goat.

Jon: "Nobody gives me credit. I do all this work on statistics, and nobody calls me Jon the Statistician"

Me: "Of course they don't"

Jon: "I pass my PhD and get a research fellowship by kissing ass, but nobody calls me Jon the Research Fellow"

Me: "Surprise, surprise..."

Jon: "But you fuck one goat..."

Me: "Yes, but it wasn't just ONE goat was it you fucking cunt, you fuck goats day in day out, you don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn you fuck goats all day long, fuck you Jon the Goatfucker"

Jon: "Oh no, I am sad now, I am going to go and slash my wrists like the retarded psychopathic piece of shit I am"

by anuspounder September 23, 2009

13πŸ‘ 4πŸ‘Ž