Kenyon College

A sick-ass school full of kids who are pretty smart but have other priorities than just academics. Lots of hipsters and bros, but there are also plenty of people don't fit into stereotypes but get along fine with those who do. Professors are pretty chill, the swimmers are D3 gods (D3, but still), the campus looks like Hogwarts and the chicks have been looking better in recent years. Students know how to party; Shock Your Mama and Summer Sendoff are Keystone-fueled shit shows, but students do everything else pretty well too, from saving the environment to putting on theater productions to forcing unwanted members of the administration to resign.

Alumni include Rutherford B. Hayes, Paul Newman, Bill Watterson and Ted from How I Met Your Mother, all paragons of awesomeness.

Ivy League Kid: You go to Kenyon College? Like, Africa?
Kenyon Kid: No, in Ohio, and I get some every weekend because liberal arts schools have a sweet guy-girl ratio, and there isn't much else to do other than study or party or go hiking in the wilderness.
Ivy League Kid: Sounds fun, but I have to go write fourteen essays and postulate some calculus theories.
Kenyon Kid: I'll probably get a higher-paying job than you because I do a ton of extracurriculars. Peace out.

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