Gym Hands

This is a biohazard like state which exists on your hands from going to the gym and handling various equipment with your hands.

This condition derives from hundreds of men using the gym equipment who hardly wipe their own asses let alone wash their hands.

The only way to rectify this potentially dangerous condition is to thoroughly wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap directly after your workout.

1. "Whew that was some workout, let's get outta here" says Jeff. "Wait a minute, I got gym hands...let me go wash them real quick" wisely responds James.

2. "Poor Jesse...what caused him to go into a coma" asks Jeff. "He forgot to wash his "gym hands" after working out and then he ate a sandwich. The poor fellow caught SARS, Shingles, Gout and the Black Plague...honestly it was too much for the human body so it shut down" replied James.

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kneedle

A hypodermic needle specifically designed to inject into the knee joint for such things as Hyalgan or Cortizone.

Dr. - Ok, I am going to have to give you an injection in your bum knee.

Patient - Holy shnikes Doc...that is not a needle, it is a KNEEDLE! You get it? Kneedle?

Dr. - Yes, I get it....not funny. Don't pursue a stand up comedy career.

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Con Bus

A satiric description (based off the movie Con Air) of a public transit bus that seems to be composed solely of convicted felons, drunks, druggies and possibly killers.

"Dude, I caught the Con Bus home after the gym the other day. Half the people were drunk and the other half seemed to be going to a methadone clinic and were talking about beating people up." said Jimmy Ray. "I was scared for my life but you can't show weakness on the Con Bus or you could get rolled"

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Under-Werewolf

A person with excess body hair wearing only underwear usually resembling Michael J Fox from Teen Wolf. It is assumed that the Under-werewolf possesses special powers so they are generally feared.

"Dude, did you see the Under-werewolf in the locker room at the gym?" asked Bob.

"Yeah, I was scared for my life...I got out of there quick because I didn't feel like getting my face ripped off today." replied a trembling Steve.

Random Spot Adrenaline

The curious phenomenon that occurs when a stranger spots you at the gym in which you are able to lift heavier than usual.
This can occur due to a number of factors -

1. You do not want to be embarrassed by not being able to hit the weight you loaded up on the bar in front of a stranger.
2. You do not trust that you will get a safe spot from this stranger so as part of self-preservation the adrenaline kicks in.
3. You fear that the stranger will assist when you don't need it, so you enable beast mode.
(A combination of several of these scenarios are common occurrences)

"Dude, I hit 190 for 5 reps on incline today like it was nothing." said Jimmy

"Whoa, you didn't come close to that last week...what gives?" queries Jefferson.

"Must have been the random spot adrenaline kicking in" replied Jimmy

Skunk in the trunk

A humorous phrase used to denote the wretched stench of a person’s unwashed posterior.

Guy 1 - Bejeezus, the locker room in this gym smells like dead rats and broken dreams! I mean, it smells so bad in here that I do believe I am losing childhood memories somehow.

Guy 2 - No kidding, someone has really got a skunk in the trunk yo!

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Chickenhawk Engineer

A person works in the engineering field who discusses and debates the best way method to perform a given task, but then consciously avoids doing the actual work themselves.

"It is quite amusing how Mark got so heated in the arguement about how to architect that widget but then the next day he avoids actually performing the very tasks that he was describing" said Frank.

Max replies, "That is because he is a Chickenhawk Engineer. He will always get in arguements about how to solve a problem, but never gets involved in the actual work of implementing the solution."

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