Oatly

An organic, try-hard hipster who won't stop reminding you that they were cow-boob-free before you.

Smells like they're from a farm.

Thinks Tarantino's best film is the one the fewest people have watched.

Wouldn't be caught in a store-bought halloween outfit.

Totally basic, but lets everyone call them alt.

Flat white guy: yo can I get that Oatly alt drink in my flat white?
Coffee shop guy wearing a beret: the one that's really into music made of plant noises?
Flat white guy: yeah, they're really not like the other drinks