vanblarcum

A particularly messy bowel movement. There is not enough toilet paper in the universe to clean your rump after taking a vanblarcum.

All that Taco Bell and Mad Dog I drank last night has caused me to take at least three vanblarcums this morning. After each, I needed to shower.

hillbilly handkerchief

Evacuating mucus membranes from one's nose without using any material to collect the material. The mucus flies into the environment and either dries up or is eaten by dogs.

Jimmy Jen just resorted to a hillbilly handkerchief as though it was a casual habit. This mrtified his big-city fiance.