Soccermom

noun.

Female with a strong type A personality with a skewed sense of civic responsibility coupled with a need to enforce political correctness on to others. Usually a hypocrite.

The term soccermom was not originally disparaging. It was used to refer to a Mom who takes her children as well as other children to their little league soccer game.

Soccermoms promote the following philosophies:

- winning is not important

- soccer is good because it is non violent

- no child should feel bad if they did not play well

- trophies awarded to every child

- removal of keeping score from the game

These philosophies are enforced in the brain of the soccermom to compensate for the fact that their kid does not play the game well.

Soccermom's are usually hypocrites as evidenced below:

- are vegetarians but cooks exotic dinners for the family that require eggs, fish and poultry

- believes in equality for all (but has no problem calling the driver ahead of her a 'chink' for cutting her off)
- supports PETA (enough said)
- supports Green Peace (but drives an SUV)
- a strong supporter of recycling only when convenient (if her blue box is full, the cans go in the garbage)

The worst soccermoms are the ones that have a bumper sticker on their SUV that reads: "IM A SOCCERMOM!"

Totally opposite of a Hockeymom

Soccermoms are the prime reason of cultural erosion in North America.

Billy: Hey can your Mom give me a ride to practice?

Johnny: Sure, I'll ask, she's taking 7 other kids too

Billy: Cool, she's a Soccermom, huh? Hey, does she still make you those rye and buckwheat sandwiches?

Johnny: ya, but I just throw them out

Billy: Yeah I would too. I got a steak in my lunch today.

Johnny: damn! That's cause your mom is a Hockey mom!

Billy: Yeah, my mom sets shit straight, unlike your Soccer mom!

Johnny (sobbing): yeeah..

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Hockey Mom

noun.
variations: Hockeymom

Complete opposite of a Soccermom. A Hockey mom takes only her kid to hockey practice and let the neighbor's kid walk because he is on the other team.

The Hockey mom uses the following tactics to ensure her kid plays well:

- big breakfasts consisting of a lot of cooked animals

- threatens to beat her kid if he does not score a goal (or lets a goal in, if the kid is a goalie)

- yells at her kid to score when at the game

- yells profanities at the other players

The Hockey mom usually drives a pickup truck and lives on a farm. She is a stay at home mom with a large family (usually 7 kids, 3 girls, 4 boys. All boys play hockey)

The Hockey mom carries these interesting traits:
- will cut off any SUV sporting a "IM A SOCCERMOM" bumper sticker
- usually has a chipped upper front tooth
- usually dirty blonde with long hair parted in the middle
- wears tight levi's jeans from ther high school days in the 80's
- listens to REO Speedwagon and Aerosmith
- Drinks vodka and rum and coke
- Married to a redneck farmer that she met in high school. He inherited the farm and his mom was also a hockey mom.

Totally opposite of Soccermom: See Soccermom

Johnny: Hey! Those two women are fighting!
Billy: That ain't no women, those are our moms!
Johnny: damn, dude, my mom just beat the shit out of your mom!
Billy: That's cause my mom is a Soccermom
Johnny: Yeah, and my mom is a Hockey mom
Billy (sobbing): yeah....

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