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crotch crustacean

(n.) a pubic louse; the crabs.

I contracted a case of the crotch crustaceans from the trousers I purchased at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Of course the old lady just ain't buying it...

by blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

45πŸ‘ 11πŸ‘Ž


turkish bread

(n.) A condition afflicting an unhygenic vagina which may or may not be malodorous and produces little crusty pellets that may adhere to the vulva or collect in the panties. Turkish bread may be a result of any of several infections commonly associated with a woman's pussy or simply the result of not washing one's stanky snatch. Reportedly, turkish bread has a cheese-like flavor and is viewed as a delicacy to be spread on Triscuits or Ritz in some circles.

Nichole's turkish bread finally got to me after after all these years. Night after night of gagging on that crust just got to me; I had to leave.

by blenderhead91 March 26, 2009

68πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


Non Gratum Anus Rodentum

(Latin) Literally "Not Worth a Rat's Ass," the slogan of the Tunnel Rats, who were either U.S. Army combat engineers or infantrymen of small stature who cleared the extensive tunnel network of the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War.

Willy wore a patch with the saying "Non Gratum Anus Rodentum" on his field jacket. This indicates that he was a Tunnel Rat during 'Nam.

by blenderhead91 April 7, 2009

143πŸ‘ 31πŸ‘Ž


choadstool

(n.) a despicable person, especially one who is short and fat, much like a choad, a short, fat dick. Choadstoolism may be associated with short man's disease.

That anus up in human resources is a fucking choadstool: four-foot-nine, 200 pounds, and all of it complete, festering dick.

by blenderhead91 April 8, 2009

60πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.

Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

64πŸ‘ 66πŸ‘Ž


Dehli Belly

(n.) Gastro-intestinal distress associated with consuming questionable foodstuffs typically available from (usually illegal) immigrant street vendors. Diahrrea (commonly of the explosive kind)and cramping are associated with this unfortunate malady.

Vince missed work after having a bad batch of Tandoori take-out.Sounds like a case of Dehli Belly. He's had the explosive shits all morning.

by blenderhead91 March 26, 2009

64πŸ‘ 18πŸ‘Ž


Three Tattoo Rule

The scientific rule that states "If a girl has more than three tattoos, she'll probably take it in the ass."

1.) At first, I didn't buy into the Three Tattoo Rule, but eight years later and a few more romantic encounters under my belt, I'd have to say it's true.

2.) Cindy didn't disappoint. She was covered in ink and reaffirmed my belief in the Three Tattoo Rule.

by blenderhead91 June 8, 2009

52πŸ‘ 22πŸ‘Ž