Sebastian

a man who wakes up every morning & shits excellence. his daily jimmy dean breakfasts gives him a strength & charismatic touch equivalent to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s. he goes straight home from work & works out for exactly 37 mins, then plays his pc until he’s tired of Tourge’s voice. he’ll then whisper sweet sounds of love into his wife’s ear & quickly fall asleep to repeat the cycle once more.

“wow bertrude, i wish i was married to a Sebastian!”

1👍 1👎

Tourge

this specific breed of human will 100% always be found with an “i ❤️ mom” tattoo, a block of cheese in his pocket, & from the day they’re born to the day they die, they’ll always be in their PRIMES.

“HIYAH, ur such a tourge🙄 hurry up & kiss your mom goodbye so we can leave!”

Tourge

this specific breed of human will 100% always be found with an “i ❤️ mom” tattoo, a block of cheese in his pocket, & from the time they are born till the day they die, they’ll be living in their PRIMES.

“ur such a Tourge🙄 kiss ur mom goodbye so we can leave”