Maestro's Conundrum

The "Maestro's Conundrum" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. The Maestro's Conundrum is when you weave your baton through the piano wires while the soloist plays Tchaikovsky.

Mr. Mozart: "For shame Wolfgang, what sounds are those? Are you not in tune?"
Wolfgang: "Why yes father, moreso than you could know."
Piano Teacher: "Fear not Herr Mozart, for young Wolfi has solved the Maestro's Conundrum"

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Greet the Day

"Greeting the Day" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. "Greeting the Day" is when you lay your member across the snooze bar of an unsuspecting slumberer and patiently await their clumsy caress as they reach for another 7 minutes of sleep.

And Shakti said unto his pupil Apernam, "As the red sun rises in the east, and the snow geese have landed in the pond, so too shall you Greet the Day."

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Baker's Folly

The "Baker's Folly" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. The "Baker's Folly" is when the baker, weary from a full day of rising his bread, kneads his own dough into the baguette.

To perform the Baker's Folly once is to be clumsy, but to do it twice is bliss.

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Seymour Butts

Author of the NY Times Best Seller, "Under the Bleachers"

Bill: Did you do your book report?
Steve: Yes, I read "Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butts.
Bill: Sweet.

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Snaking the Charmer

"Snaking the Charmer" is an addendum to the Palma Sutra, the ancient vedic discourse on self-pleasure. To Snake the Charmer coil your cobra in the basket and mesmerize her with the song of your skin flute.

...and Maliha exclaimed, "Lo, behold! For the beast has turned its song upon the player...he is Snaking the Charmer!"

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False Celery

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.

As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."

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Slopscotch

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, slopscotch is when you squat down and grab hold of your protuberance and hop up and down until release is attained.

In the northern provinces, Slopscotch is referred to as The Bouncing Buffalo.

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