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Mattituck

Also known as Mattifuck (because nothing even fucking happens), Mattituck is this retarded little town on the north fork of long island, ny. i live in mattituck and i know like six black people out of my grad class of like a hundred kids. we all smoke weed on a regular basis and get shitfaced on the weekends because we hate our worthless ungrateful little lives so much. kids grow up here so sheltered that we're going to a hell of a hard time in the real world. our only contact with the outside world are the thousands of city people who come here to see the wineries. (it's fun giving them wrong directions)

(john and james walk up to bob and jenny in the mattituck high school gym lobby)
john- hey guys i just bought a quarter, got plans after school today?
bob- i got soccer practice i cant man, maybe we'll catch up at waldbaums later though.
jenny- i have to go back to the farm first,but ill pick you and james up with the tractor
john- okay

by bored tucker November 23, 2011

11👍 9👎