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To "sit on a mortar" is to suffer the consequences of a 'dirty bomb' detonation.
"Unfortunately Your Highness, my husband had some dodgy prawn chimichongas for lunch and has sat on a mortar, thus he will not be able to attend tea."
270๐ 39๐
a homosexual male who disguises his sexulaity in order to get ahead
-"Look at our old mate behind the bar with his bumchum. This was a great pub, no look at it - cocktails, no real ale - and full of style-conscious genlemen with nice fingernails"
-"yeah, our old mate was always a stealth bummer. He'd come and join us with his frustrated wife and join us, but he was just casing the joint."
-"yeah, taken out by a stealth bummer!"
57๐ 5๐
A man who has successfully concealed his sexuality to take advantage of his heterosexual friends.
Bert - "The pub went queer under the new owner, our lawyer friend. No more real beer, no more blazing fire. Now it's strictly for "style conscious gentlemen" only.
Bill - "Yeah we're done for now - nowhere left to go in the village. Sad. And we thought Mike was one of us. He was just casing the joint. Look at it now - all mirrors and pictures of fucking male pop stars and stuff and shitty music."
Bert - "Makes you sick. Our last real watering hole taken out by a stealth bummer!"
That miraculous sensor situated in the anal tract that enables the operator to determine whether the chamber is loaded with gas or solid matter, before risking a fart. The Bombay barometer may give faulty readings when, for example, swamped by large quantities of beer and curry, with disastrous results.
"Who dropped the dark blockbuster? Smells like someone's Bombay barometer failed!"
299๐ 96๐
During sexual congress in the "missionary position", when the lady "drops a gut" with sufficient gusto to blast her suitor's balls up his arsehole.
Rebecca was always going to deliver a Barnsley blow job in revenge for the night when I used her new white designer dress to muffle a fart, after enjoying a one-on-one romp.
The fart was a controlled blockbuster, but the sad proof of the detonation was clear for all to see when the next morning she strode proudly out of my apartment onto the
street, where the neighbours had a good laugh at all the shit up the back of her dress.
102๐ 13๐
A monster smelly TURD blocking a Thunderbox which withstands any amount of flushing and prodding, yet refuses to leave the pan.
"I shouldn't use that one if I were you, Madam. Best wait until we've dealt with Tony Blair's Legacy first."
69๐ 14๐