Plous

The only word that matters. Stemming from a most holy individual and commanding utmost respect, plous is interchangeable with bogue - and, on occasion, croak - and is simultaneously a noun, adjective, and verb. The connotation of plous depends entirely on its context, and the manner in which it is said. Plousing, to plous, to be ploused, I ploused, you ploused, he's a plous, she's a plous, that's a plous, they're a plous, I ploused her, they ploused me, I've been ploused, the weather is plousing, let's get ploused, stop plousing; although not an exhaustive list, each of these uses could indicate an infinitely wide variety of meanings.

The consumption of alcohol is, far and away, the most common catalyst for plous's usage. Utterances of plous scale linearly with beers shotgunned, and die tossed. Upon committing a booze-related error / blacking out, one is said to have taken a one-way trip to the House of Plous, Plousville, or The PlousHouse. More often than not, however, a negatively-connoted evening is simply referred to as "a plous", or that the individual involved "ploused".

The word should be used often and without restraint. Plous remains fodder for Instagram captions, comments, and bios. Conceptually, plous holds a metaphysical bond to Coors Light, Hamilton College, off-brand nicotine devices, 8-by-4 ft. plywood tables, Vyvanse, sun hats, Deep Eddy, pass / fail courses, and AliExpress basketball jerseys. Plous cannot be overused.

Person 1: I've had seventeen beers.
Person 2: Buzzteen. Stop plousing.

Person 1: I ploused last night.
Person 2: Who?

Person 1: I'm a walking plous.
Person 2: Aren't we all.

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