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Random
A retard who cleans the bogs at Asda. These mentally-unfortunate individuals can often be seen fishing out unflushable Hill biscuits with a net and eating them for lunch.
What's David doing?
Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
199๐ 36๐
Eggs.
Grandad curry-hat's idea of black magic is having eggs placed in his hedge by Nogtard as a revenge prank for having bourbons posted through his letterbox.
The old twat was so terrified he phoned the landlady next door, shaking in his turban.
How come there are eggs in the hedge? Was it a student prank?
No, I think you'll find its Pak Magic.
67๐ 14๐
Generic name for a Maltby employee who is not a Maltby Hero. This worthless cretin removed Nogtard's Bog and Pork Scotch's Cone from the back of the Maltby Lorry and should be sacked from the glorious company of Maltby.
Where's Nogtard's Bog gone? Thought the Maltby men were all heroes.
That's the work of a Rogue Maltbyite. The Heroes must be informed so they can string the vile bastard up.
60๐ 12๐
The vehicle driven by the Porky Scotcher. It is a white van with a very peculiar arrangement of windows. It is known as a half-car because it has too many windows to be considered a van and not enough to be considered a car.
Monk: That's a weird vehicle. Neither van nor car but somewhere in between.
Dad: Yes Monk, the technical name is 'half-car'. Its a vehicle especially for fat security guards who think they're too important to drive vans.
55๐ 3๐
South African word for a barbecue. According to Pork Scotch and Goofy Granny this is "the only way to eat" and even "the only way to live". In reality however it is the only way to be fat and gay and wear pink flowery shorts.
For normal people a braai is something reserved for special occasions. For Scotch Man Porky Wawky its something you do at least once a day if the sun is out.
86๐ 57๐
A version of Bruce Springsteen's song "Born to Run" sung by Pork Scotch, the world's ugliest dickhead. First sung as a drunken karaoke performance and later recorded at Goofy Granny's expense. The record sold precisely 2 copies.
I've made a record therefore I'm young and cool.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
30๐ 8๐