Suicide Welt

The resulting effects of an astronomically non-lethal impact on an otherwise lethal body zone (head etc). The triviality of the "welt" juxtaposed with the carnal seriousness of suicide produces a cocktail of true apathy, ineffectiveness, and inability.

"Wow, did you see Rodney's suicide welts? What a total lazybones with no real followthrough."

Sawdust Woody

A "Sawdust Woody" is a slang term used to describe a false erection that appears visually idyllic but is actually soft and pliable when examined. It's a "counterfeit erection" that may occur due to various factors such as anxiety, medication side effects, or medical conditions.

*Becky to a friend* Wow, Elrond really ended up having a Sawdust Woody - very disappointing.