couch knowledge

The state of knowing nothing.

The only knowledge one has amassed is what's been learned through the TV.

Tom thinks he's smart, but he only has couch knowledge.

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cashier talk

Like "pillow talk", except you are NOT getting laid, no matter what. It's a faked intimate conversation between a cashier and the customer, even though the cashier could really care less about you or what's going on in your life. It's just a way to make the customer feel important and spend more money.

Cashier: So, are you spending the holidays at home with a girlfriend, or are you just going to relatives?

Customer: thinking she's coming on to him. No, I'm not married, but I'll be staying at home.

Friend later on: Dude, she's not interested, she was just using some cashier talk to get you to buy that stuff.

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