sandpaper bath

when you wake up at 2am with your cat giving your forehead a bath.

I couldn't sleep last night. My cat woke me up with a sandpaper bath.

45👍 14👎

tempcation

A temporary layoff from your job. So the state pays you to stay home.
Combines 'vacation'with 'temporary'.

I need to fire up my DVR to help get through my tempcation

30👍 15👎

the trinity

When a man penetrates a woman three ways; orally, vaginally and anally.

Kobe Bryant wouldn't have been in trouble Colorado, but he got greedy by trying to achieve the trinity with that girl.

353👍 129👎

feline wet willie

when your cat wakes you by jamming their wet nose in your ear while purring.

Pardon my yawning. Fluffy woke me at 2am with a feline wet willie.

20👍 4👎

cigarette dangles

The lit end of a cigarette. The ashen end hangs and when smoked by an attactive woman, can be sexy.

Like The Pursuit of Happiness sang, "Cigarette dangles makes me hard".

38👍 9👎