manjam

A homemade high-protein preserve traditionally distilled in two spherical receptacles. Best served in a series of short sharp jets over a pair of perfectly proportioned buns or baps.

Girl: "Eric, my fingers keep brushing against something hard in the popcorn. Is anything in there?"
Eric, popcorn bucket on his lap: "No, I don't think so. Here grab another handful."
---
five minutes later
---
Girl:"Eric, why does the popcorn suddenly taste like manjam?"
Eric:"Er..don't know. Probably just...er...no I really haven't a clue. Couldn't give ya one good reason, i'm afraid. Nope. Er, hang on, maybe...ah no...nope...I can't think why at all. Sorry. No idea."

90👍 37👎

Lets beat

A call to arms elicited by the head of a group of mutual masturbators as a signal that the time has come for some serious meat-beating or clit-flicking.

Gentlemen, let's beat!

7👍 9👎

suck a fuck

The act, which most girls have secretly honed for as yet unknown reasons, of completely collapsing with a single word a seriously hot moment, which would ordinarily lead to fucking.

Joel (kissing Emily's neck): So what now honeybuns?
Emily: Pizza?
Joel: Shit Emily, you really sucked the fuck out of that situation!

56👍 84👎

cock diesel

The black, sweet-tasting, ejaculatory elixir which many African cultures believe a man emits if he correctly enunciates the arcane word 'Dukdukhjjuutybuqu' upon orgasm.

"I'm afraid your wife will die within 5 hours."
"Nah it's alright doc, i'll just pump her full of cock diesel and she'll be right as rain."

33👍 177👎

rubberband man

A man who can only perform sexually with a tight rubber band triple-wrapped round his cock to restrict blood-flow, whilst fantasising that he's a smurf shagging smurfette.

Rubberband man theme tune:

Gonna find me a rubber band,
Gonna wrap it round my chonson,
Gonna find that lil' smurfette,
And may her suck my big blue cock tonight!

Oh yeah! That's what I'm gonna do,
Cos I'm a crazy smurf with a big blue cock tonight!
That's what I am!
I'm not some weirdo with a rubber band wrapped round my cock, no!
I'm a friggin smurf!
Why won't anyone believe me?

62👍 433👎

pansexual

One who swears that he/she is singularly and uncontrollably aroused by pans.

Sex shop owner: "We got whips, hand-cuffs, feathers, chains, dildos, butt-plugs, cock-rings, joy-buzzers, batons, tasers, axes, machetes, M-16s, SAMs, anthrax-"
Pansexual: "Got any pans?"

247👍 407👎

pisswah

The post-coitus piss which takes it's time coming out and then when it does goes everywhere, all over your feet and up the walls, but not down the toilet.

"You ready for some more sugar?"
"There in a sec honey, just taking a piss...(10 seconds later)...wah!"

2👍 7👎