swamp sock

A stray sock often found beneath the bed of a teenage boy with a strangely stiffened texture used primarily as a recepticle for masturbatory ejaculate . Use has possibly increased due to current concerns for the environment as the item is reusable unlike tissues .

Mum - Johnny , I must try another brand of fabric condition as I had to boil wash the sock i found under your bed as it was so stiff !

Johnny - ...Erm...gumph!...swamp sock

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hingers

Womens tits,refers mainly to the large English pendular variety,rather than the smaller pert European type.

Your Mother has a massive pair of Hingers

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knocking shop mattress

An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc

See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.

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wrist manual

A gentlemens interest magazine containing pictures of "Ladies who never say no" also features on classic cars and premium rate phone lines.

whilst walking the dog , I discovered a fantastic stash of dicarded wrist manuals , who says flytipping is all bad.

crackers

Pants,Underpants North East colloquial.

Im touching cloth,Ive shit me crackers

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stotts

Testicles,nuts,colloquial North East

Come here and Ill kick you in the Stotts

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log effect tile

Waterproof smear left by an untidy toilet user(usually on a virgin train)which starts below the rim and inexplicably continues and survives intact beneath the waterline.

Some ones fitted a log effect tile in that public conveience

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