crackers

Pants,Underpants North East colloquial.

Im touching cloth,Ive shit me crackers

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stotts

Testicles,nuts,colloquial North East

Come here and Ill kick you in the Stotts

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knocking shop mattress

An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc

See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.

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what fettle

A greeting , mainly used by older members of the community in North East Mining communities,latterly bastardised by younger members of the community to signify the achievement of the physical act of love,when such topics are discussed in a public house etc.

"I told her to get up stairs , pull her nighty up,and I gave her What Fettle"

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lay some cable

To produce solid waste,often used to amuse workmates,or as an excuse when you are going for a number 3.

Out the way lads,Im going to strech my hoop and lay some cable

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