Nunes

(verb): To conceal/disguise or distract the attention of others from a fart, Drumpf or TrumpTrain.

(noun): The concealment, disguise or distraction of the attention of others from a fart, Drumpf or TrumpTrain.

(verb): The way Devin was desperately trying to Nunes that TrumpTrain, it was obvious he knew everyone heard it even though no one saw the Santorum dribbling down his leg.

(noun): No matter how hard Devin tried to create a Nunes, everyone knew he was the one that Drumpfed when they saw the growing stain of Santorum on his jeans.

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Jordan

n. A type of dingleberry, still wet with Santorum, dangling from a freshly harvested McConnell (for the uninitiated, a McConnell is a special, turtle-head shaped butt plug—see full definition herein).

Much to Mister Nunes’s dismay, the McConnell he wanted to deal with his latest emergency was still dripping with Jordans from his previous engagement, and Ryan didn’t have a fresh one to spare.

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Ryan

n. The failure to fix a problem or control a situation when to do so would even minimally interfere with protecting or promoting oneself; esp. in positions of trust.

Devin begged Paul to help him hide the Santorum flowing down his suit pants, but all he got was a Ryan. Paul refused to go along with another Nunes.

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Ryan

n. The failure to react to a problem or take control of a situation when to do so would even minimally interfere with protecting or promoting oneself; particularly applicable to persons in leadership or positions of trust.

Nunes begged Paul to help him hide the Santorum flowing down his pants, but all he got was a big Ryan.

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Kavanaugh

Similar to a caboose (a railroad car with accommodations for the crew and usually attached at the end of the train), a “Kavanaugh” is a lover’s emotional outburst, a mix of tears, whines, and shouts, that may immediately follow his releasing a TrumpTrain; party leaders may be moved to do likewise.

We thought we heard a long TrumpTrain from Nunes in the next room; we were certain of it when he erupted in one of the loudest Kavanaughs we’d ever heard.

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