Garbage Video Toilet

The unrecognized commode that is effectively the fifth member of the 90's rock band "Garbage". The receptacle makes uncredited and inexplicable appearances in a disproportionate number of the band's videos.

"I can't believe it. This is the fifth Garbage video I've seen today and there's that pesky toilet again. WHY?"

"That's the Garbage Video Toilet. I hear the band just likes the little guy."

"They might as well give it a guitar."

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Approaching occupational neurosis

The sense of exponential dread that occurs when one more closely nears one's workplace. If one is driving down a hill to said workplace the effect is sometimes described as Hell like.

(In a carpool on a public service ad) "What's wrong Jake? Your face has gone white."

"Look down there at the bottom of the hill and to the right!"

"OH MY GOD! IT"S THAT PLACE WE WORK!"

(A psychologist enters the ad and states paternally; "This is approaching occupational neurosis. Don't let it happen to you or anyone you care about. Resign or seek professional help immediately!"

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Kirsten Dunst Syndrome

A woman who by all objective standards is quite beautiful but retains a subtle indescribable flaw that somehow undermines her overall beauty. It is also sometimes known as Miley Cyrus Syndrome.

"Dude what's wrong with you? How could you break up with Carol? She is a fox!"

"I don't know. There was something about her mouth that bugged me. I can't explain it."

(Pensive now) Yeah I think I get what you're saying now. I sort of noticed that too.

"It's like Kirsten Dunst Syndrome, I guess"

"You mean Miley Cyrus syndrome?"

"Same thing...whatever."

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Chompophobia

The irrational fear men often feel toward outhouses. Normally it stems from the associated fear that there may be an unseen alligator or crocodile somewhere below.

"Why did Elmer have to buy one of them newfangled INDOOR toilets?"

"cause me and Clem I heard he has Chompophobia."

"I reckon that's a mighty wise choice then. I heard something peculiar rustlin' in my own outdoor facility this morning."

(Collective shiver)

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Coquettesan

A woman within a workplace who advances herself by walking the thin line between being a relentless flirt (i.e. a coquette) and actually having sex with men of advantage to her (i.e. being a courtesan) for the sake of her career.

"I can't believe the stuff that that woman has gotten away with and they keep giving her more responsibility!"

"Yep, Stacey is a very accomplished coquettesan."

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Internet Ghost

An entity on the Internet that is imaginary. Specifically it is a person who has created a false identity for him or herself. Generally, falsified pictures and life experience are involved. Should the person go on to actually meet those to whom he or she has been lying without taking into account that they will inevitably be caught, the condition is known as Internet ghost denial.

(Pretty girl to whom the liar is talking upon their first meeting) "Hey you aren't 6'3" or a ski instructor I bet."

"Yeah I am."

"You are a liar and an Internet ghost. In fact you are in Internet ghost denial.

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Hair color paradox

When one is attracted to people with hair colors other than that on one's partner. When ascribed to a large population, it is when people of a particular region or country are attracted to people whose hair color is rarely observed.

"Hans, I am happy that you are enjoying your time in Ireland but many women are growing uncomfortable by your relentless staring. Kelly told me that it is freaking her out."

"I am sorry Patrick but one rarely sees such beautiful red haired women in my native Germany. This is indeed a hair color paradox."

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