AARP Hymen

The gynecological instance then the vaginal walls of an older women fuse due to lack of sexual activity

Ms. Smith, you can get dressed. fortunately, your condition is not serious and will not require surgery. Your early onset AARP hymen can be alleviated through the adoption of sexual relations or the purchase of a vibrator.

15👍 7👎

Three-stroke limit

The acceptable length of a message being sent via Blackberry defined by three strokes of the thumb while scrolling.

"Did you get Mike's rambling email last night? I stop reading after the first five paragraphs. I have a strict three-stroke limit when it comes to reading mail on my Blackberry."

Limpathy

Sympathy for a sexual partner's impotency.

"How was your hot date with Geof?"

"It started out well, but ended up being an evening of tears and limpathy because he couldn't get it up."

Best of fuck

An expression for wishing luck to someone for a doomed endeavor

Ben: "I'm meeting with my ex-wife about the lawsuit with our former nanny/ finance"
Stuart: " Best of fuck with that!"

Recrap

To recap information that is useless, inane or simply bad.

"Thank you for wasting the last ninety minutes of my life with that ridiculous presentation, and then having the gall to "recrap" it for us"

16👍 12👎

Beard Miscarriage

The act of accidentally and prematurely shaving off facial hair because you adjusted the electric trimmer to the wrong setting

I had a beard miscarriage. Meant to trim it and ended up shaving off a strip, so I had to take the whole thing off.

7👍 3👎

Fat-checking

A derivative of "fact-checking" when applied to the large inventory of fiction spouted by a fat-headed political candidate.

Origin: Hillary Clinton, second Presidential Debate, October 9th, 2016

"Of course my opponent can't say whatever he likes, but please know we will be fat-checking, uh, fact-checking his assertions."

16👍 5👎