Random
Source Code
Random
Like most Americans I have ancestry, as well as living family in Germany: cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.
Germany is a country that most Americans respect and admire, despite what a few idiots before me have written. A country of great inventors, great poets, great philosophers, great composers. Germany has contributed so much to the culture of Western civilization. It's a shame that a few idiots in 1933 ruined such a beautiful land.
Germany also has VERY SEXY WOMEN! I wish I could have sex with all the women in Germany--including my cousin's wife. In fact, ESPECIALLY my cousin's wife!
Germany is also a country where rap music has become so popular among the youth, there is even a neo-Nazi rap group there. I mean, come on, a neo-Nazi RAP GROUP!!!!
Smart American: Germany is cool.
Smart American #2: Indeed.
405👍 141👎
If in the USA, an immigrant who drinks lots of vodka, wears flashy jewelery, fake leather jackets, curses at you in Russian during arguments, and (if male) generally has a crewcut. Typically spends 4 days a week drinking and 3 days a week hungover.
If male: Has a weird name, such as "Ivan" or "Arkady". Works in construction. Plays good chess.
If female: Has HUGE tits, yet still wears a push-up bra, which almost makes up for her attitude problem. Almost.
-"That Russian chick is stacked to high heaven!"
-"No doubt, my friend. Gimme a glass o' her fresh squeezed breast milk."
583👍 487👎
something all women should swallow after sex, as a gesture of kindness.
Guy #1: Why don't more women swallow cum?
Guy #2: I...I don't know! It only lasts a few seconds for them. We men have to endure eating women out for much longer, and they ain't always fresh and dandy down there!
Guy #1: You think too much.
Woman: What are you guys talking about?
Guy #1: Nothing, ma'am. Here are your french fries.
970👍 552👎
1) A very good steak
2) A nickname George Costanza from "Seinfeld" wanted to be called by at work, but Neil Watkins in accounting got it instead.
Everyone is gathered around a large conference table.
KRUGER: Let's order lunch. Mary, I will have a chef's salad.
MALE WORKER: Turkey sandwich.
GEORGE: T-bone steak.
KRUGER: For lunch?
GEORGE: Well, I am just a T-bone kinda guy. Love that T-bone. In fact, you might as well call me--
WATKINS: That sounds good. I'll have one, too.
KRUGER: Watkins, you're havin' a T-bone?
WATKINS: I love 'em.
KRUGER: Well, then we should call you T-bone.
GEORGE: Uh, no. No, we shouldn't.
KRUGER: T-bone!
ALL EXCEPT GEORGE (chanting): T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone! T-bone!
79👍 87👎
1. A derogatory term for an African American. Equivalent to the "n" word.
Though it's origin is sometimes attributed to Kidd Chris, in fact Chris learned the word "schwoogie" from the OPIE AND ANTHONY radio show. Opie and Anthony learned the word from their old general manager Bruce Mittman when they were shock jocks in Boston during the mid/late 90's. It is not known whether Mittman also heard the word from someone or invented it himself. If the latter is true, it would probably be the first time a racial slur's origin could be traced to the individual who first uttered it.
140👍 82👎
A member of the female sex that hails from Nassau or Suffolk county; technically, Queens and Kings (Brooklyn) county females are "Long Island" girls, but out in the real world you'll get looks for saying that.
Many of them do strange things like wear their hair like they're Native Americans going to war, fake eyelashes, too much make-up etc. At least they put a great deal of care into their appearance.
Some of them come from well-off families. Some of the girls from Long Island go to college at the University at Buffalo; this saves them about $15,000 a year in tuition vs. most NYC universities, which they proceed to bilk their parents out of by getting them to buy them a new car. Frankly, I'm impressed by their cleverness.
Overall, they're girls like any other. I personally have found the Long Island girls I've met to be very friendly and sweet (and I'm not the best looking guy by any means), so I would say the stereotype of them being shallow is a little inaccurate.
No comment on the stereotype about them being airheads, though.
#1
ME: UB has been around since the 19th century. Do you think Long Island girls came up from the city back in the 1800's to go to school here like they do today?
MY FRIEND LAUGHS: I doubt it.
ME: But can you just picture them coming onto campus in a horse-and-buggy, wearing those old outfits with the giant hooped skirts down to their ankles--
MY FRIEND: --and talking with those accents?
We both bust out laughing
#2
ME: Every Long Island girl I've met has been very sweet to me, despite the fact that I'm no Fabio. They're the butt of a lot of jokes, especially here at UB, but most of them are decent people. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for them. I kinda hope I marry a Long Island girl someday.
46👍 42👎
A line shouted at actress KATHLEEN TURNER as she was on stage acting in a 2002 Broadway production of THE GRADUATE. The line was shouted during a full frontal nude scene featuring the overweight 40-something actress. The heckler was PAUL MICHAEL MERCURIO, acting as part of a prank for "The Opie and Anthony" radio show. Audio of the entire stunt (Mercurio and two other audience members had running tape recorders in their shirt pockets at the time) can be heard on YouTube by simply typing in the infamous line.
#1
(April 12, 2002)
(KATHLEEN TURNER is on stage as 'Mrs. Robinson' in the Broadway production of "The Graduate". She drops a towel, showing her (horrific) naked body to the audience. Just then...)
(AUDIENCE MEMBER, later revealed to be comedian Paul Michael Mercurio, stands up in his seat and SCREAMS): "Kathleen, put your goddamn clothes back on!"
(A WOMAN in the audience can be heard GASPING)
#2
Go into Google and start typing in "Kathleen put your goddamn clothes back on." Google "suggests" the entire sentence as you reach the word "your". Seems significant enough to warrant an entry on UD.
39👍 5👎