magpie

don't look that scary unless you know what they can do

will swoop you and poke your eyes out if you disturb them

some bikers wear zip ties on their helmets to keep them away

at some point in the year a lot of magpies will come out and that's when swooping season starts

me: "watch out for that magpie, you might not come home alive"

friend 1: "..."

twitter

you lose brain cells naturally but when you use twitter for more than 2 hours a day then you know you lose brain cells way quicker. its a giant website full of really dumb people and celebrities being able to somehow make comments on things that somehow get to everywhere, I don't even use twitter and I know the last thing elon musk tweeted.
on twitter everyone is offended by something and wants you to be understanding but at some point people put trigger warnings for CAPS or kitchen appliances or god knows

gimmick accounts are great tho

autistic friend 1: "I just made a tweet about how we are going to burger king"

me: "you use twitter?, that makes a lot of sense"

wag

to skip school or work by just not attending

"i'm gonna wag school today, wanna come to?"