chuck norris

chuck norris's penis is a fist

chuck norris does not communicate via cellphones, the sheer sound of his voice would penetrate your ear faster than his roundhouse abilities to your face...and you would be instantly deaf. Instead, chuck norris trains owls to carry letters across the world like in Harry Potter. These owls are trained in his backyard.

One day during a training session at norris academy, an owl shit on norris as he was flying overhead, Norris teleported into the air beside the owl, looked him in the eye, and the bird exploded in mid flight. From that day on, Norris's owls know not to fuck around.

chuck norris flexes so fast, that you can hear the sound of a whip being cracked from miles away. This is because he is awesome and no science can prove this theory wrong.

When chuck norris has an orgasm, a thunderstorm instantly occurs in the Latin America.

Chuck norris does not speak to animals, he looks at them, and they either explode or implode, given their surroundings.

Chuck norris once won a long jump competition reaching 157 Meteres running with his eyes closed. Later that day he thought he'd go for a second gold medal and entered in the pole vaulting competition. He won by 396 Meters, catapolting with his penis instead of a pole, because as you know, chuck norris member is a FIST, A MIGHTY STRONG FIST.

Chuck Norris IS THE EXAMPLE

8👍 67👎