huntsville

Possibly the most EXCITING place in alabama.
First of all there is a hill there. Second of all, there are giant rockets on it that you can see from miles away. Also there are a zillion chain resturants and many mighty fine office parks. There is even (dun, dun, DUNNN!) an art museum in downtown. And, just wait until Christmastime when 12-ft tall lighted figurines pepper the residential neighborhoods with their awesome, albeit unnerving, glow of holiday cheer. Yee hohoho!!!!

Huntsville is like New Jersey, except in the South. So, basically, the radio stations are worse and the roads are better.

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utilize

A substitute for the word "use" to be employed when you want to make something sound more important or difficult than it really is.

Person says: "We utilize an alphabetical schematic to organize our records."
Translate: "We file documents alphabetically."

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jumbotron

The HUGE display screen typically found at sporting events. It shows game/player stats, scores, replays, advertisements, etc to the crowd.
Jumbotron is actually a Sony trademark name, but the word is used to refer generically to any gigantastic LED screens like it.

At a basketball court, the jumbotron might be about 11 feet wide, but in a football stadium, it'll probably be more like 33 feet.

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powerpoint

A heinous, but useful microsoft tool for putting together presentations of slides/viewgraphs.
This little piece of sh -- I mean, software comes with MS Office and it features creepy templates and clipart, your helpful friend Clippit and strategic incompatibilities with previous versions of itself.
It masquerades as a graphics program, but cannot touch Adobe in any way shape or form, so it is instead as annoyingly incompatible with Adobe as possible.
Also, it will HOG all your SWAP SPACE.
Bastard.

Person: Instead of doing real technical work, I spent all day making powerpoint slides out of my results, only to have the software freeze my computer after a few hours.

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helicopter mom

A hovering & controlling, but well-meaning, parent who gets way too involved in her child's life to the point of doing things that are completely inappropriate, such as personally attending all of little Sweetiepie's extracurricular activities, writing medium-sized Sweetiepie's school application essays, and submitting full-grown Sweetiepie's job applications.

Suzy's job interview was rendered very awkward by the fact that her helicopter mom insisted on accompanying her.

Joey moved across the country to escape his helicopter mom, but she still calls him six times a day.

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paid witness

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?

Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!

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foulies

What sailors call their foul weather gear, which consits of a raincoat rainpants combo, among other accessories.

My overall foulies look dorky, but they sure do keep me dry on the deck when it storms.

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