Complag

Verb.

To brag while pretending to complain.

Jake is always complagging about how tiresome it is to be making art in Europe.

I was complagging about the fact that since August 28th, I've been on fourteen flights. But it really is hard on my back!

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Google Twitch

(noun) An irrational impulse to google or otherwise use the internet to search for something completely impossible to locate on the WWW.

(verb) To experience the desire to google something ungoogleable.

(noun) When I realized I had misplaced the keys to the safe I experienced such a strong google twitch that I actually sat down in front of my computer and typed "keys to safe" before I recognized my foolishness.

(noun) Jimmy lost track of his girlfriend, Yvonne, at the mall and while searching for her had a momentary google twitch as he walked past a computer store.

(verb) I was trying to remember where we were when we first kissed and I totally google twitched.

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Alarm Cock

A full bladder that tends to wake you up in morning.

My alarm cock woke me up at 5 this morning; maybe I should get my prostate checked.

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douchebait

A comment, status update or tweet designed to illicit idiotic responses.

Almost any mention of politics is great douchebait. Take a firm position and watch the feeding frenzy.

I criticized some parents for using their child's image as a profile pic on Facebook and it proved to be a perfect piece of douchebait.

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Tobaccdraft

(noun) The smoke that drifts into buildings from the cigarette addicts who stand just outside, hauling on their butts.

I was trying to eat my banana bread at the Common Cafe, when the tobaccdraft killed my appetite.

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spamaniac

(noun)

An individual or organization who continues to send you multiple emails even after you've asked to be removed from their list.

Any individual or organization who sends more than two emails about their upcoming event.

I used to be Facebook friends with Chuck but he's such a fucking spamaniac I had to delete him.

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videlusion

a delusional impulse while video chatting with someone.

While videochatting with Yvonne, she went to the bathroom. I had the videlusion that I could hide in her closet and scare her when she came back. (true story)

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