middle school

a place where people pretend to be your friends but really they're just talking about how fat, ugly or stupid you are, when, you might just be none of those 3.
the teachers play favorites and want the rest of their students to die. they hate crude, middle school boy related humor and give you large amounts of work.
everybody has a group, and is real shit-faced about it when you ask to join their group.
your boyfriend of three weeks pretends to like you, but really he just likes the easy girl with big boobs. and is using you to prove he can get a girl.
the girls think they're in love with every boy they date, and are overly romantic about EVERYTHING.
test are shittin' hard and homework comes in plies. there is hardly ever a break from the insanity.
when girls get pissy with each other it blows up into a huge fight, lasting for like, two days, and when guys get mad at each other, they just beat the shit out of each other and call it even.
the popular group loves themselves too much and they're assholes to people they think are lesser then them. the popular girls are usually sluts who are mad easy and act like they're four years older then they really are. they fool around with their boyfriends, or talk about fooling around with their boyfriends, who are just looking to get some and walk around with a 24/7 monster boner.
the principal is just some weirdo who points at you in the hall and asks how you're doing. (some are really faggy)
then in 8th grade, when all the madness is nearly over, you realize that middle school was one pit of hell you never want to return to.

Principal: hello young man, how are you today?
Boy: i'm fan-fucking-tastic. i have the world's largest boner, i'm getting pimples, and my braces hurt like a bitch. i'm failing english because i'm fucking dyslexic.
Principal: have a nice day!
Boy: asshole.

Middle School memories will always haunt you.
Always.

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hairsturbate

when one touches their hair excessively and so tenderly and lovingly it almost resembles masturbation. Teenage girls constantly hairsturbate, being as they are completely obsessed with how their hair looks ALL OF THE TIME.

*Morgan keeps touching her hair in the hallway at school*
Morgan: I straightened my hair this morning, does it look alright *grabs and tucks behind ears, messes up then combs through with fingers.*
Olivia: It looks fine.
Morgan: Really? I thought it looked away, maybe if i wore it like this...
Olivia: Bye! *walks away quickly to Jenna*
Jenna: What's with Morgan touching her hair?
Olivia: I'm not sure, but i don't think i can stand to watch her hairsturbate for much longer.

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