sado-mastication

The fixation or propensity to beat your food before or during eating it.

Sarah: Hey Marty I brought you home a cheeseburger.

Marty: Oh, I bet it’s been a VERY VERY BAD burger!

While engaging is sado-mastication, Marty proceeds to pimp slap and punch the helpless cheeseburger before taking a bite and then makes sounds of delight, achieving some sort of sick thrill from this!

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tunacorn

A mythical creature like a unicorn, however, a tuna fish with a spherical horn upon his head. Often violent and very territorial, extremely dangerous. Reclusive but will attack if it feels threatened.

Marty: I went swimming in the lake yesterday Sarah…the damndest thing happened…
Sarah: What my love?
Marty: I felt this poking in my butthole and when I waded out of the water to investigate, I found, much to my dismay, a fuckin’ goldfish with a horn stickin’ out of my ass!
Sarah: Oh my God! You were cornholed by a tunacorn!!!!!

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