asphalt solar griddle

The cooking surface upon which the very best pavement pizza is warmed over.

For the very sweetest buzzard breath, be sure to partake of your pavement pizza directly from the asphalt solar griddle.

3👍 3👎

hard drive

1. The most efficient n00b detector ever invented.

2. A hardware component within the computer used for (hopefully) permanent storage.

3. N00bish slang for the box that contains the hardware components.

1. "Yes, I formatted it. Now what? Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Um, what's a backup?"

2. There is no quicker way to explain what a useless duh-weeb you are, than to call the tower or desktop unit the "hard drive", regardless how many times you've been told that it isn't. It's no wonder tech support can't understand what you're telling them.

3. "No, it's not Fat or Inty-Effess. It's a Dell, dude!"

99👍 55👎

Disobedient Computer Syndrome

A pandemic malady afflicting most anyone who uses hardware, software, and an operating system together. Add a network operating system or proprietary Internet connection software, and you have an acute case on your hands.

Abbreviation: DCS

Ever since I installed SP2, this blasted PC exhibits DCS by lipping off, (see lip off}, at me about the stupidest things instead of doing the task I gave it.

32👍 10👎

California Aquesuct

The artery through which southern California suct northern California dry.

When California empties the California Aquesuct for maintenance, people wade in and catch fish by hand. Now the fish are dead in both ends of the state.

Chippie the disoriented sea lion swam up the California Aquesuct almost to Los Banos.

43👍 15👎

fertility symbols

Clichés such as as phalli, (see phallus), ankhs, crucifixes, eggs, rabbits, and maidens dressed in white; the proper trappings for certain pagan holidays, such as Easter.

I prefer honest pagans and Real True Christians to those who pretend that the fertility symbols of Easter, such as eggs, rabbits, and maidens dressed in white have something to do with Jesus.

8👍 16👎

neen

Short for neener, a slightly ridiculing or teasing interjection used when the situation isn't really worth teasing over.

(thinking to self, he's whining, but he's my friend and I don't want to totally alienate him):

Neen.

(thinking to self, that was so stupid of him, and he's being such a whiner about it):

NEE-NUR!

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Humbug

What you get if you cross a Hummer with a VW.

What's that he's driving?

Bah! A Humbug!

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