Eight Hits Jake

Jake took 2 hits of acid.
He started to feel good, so he decided to take 2 more.
Someone said 4 hits in shock and he interpretted it as take 4 more.
So he took 4 more.
Here is his legend.

People were playing ps3 when Jake suddenly threw his snapple bottle,which he had named "sunny", to the ground. Someone attempted to pick it up and Jake stopped him saying "NO! he knows why he's there".

Jake wanted to go to the grocery store to get food, but no one else would go. This kid from Kentucky helped Jake to the store even though he didn't know where he was going. While Jake was walking through the parking lot, he saw the concrete as a giant checkerboard. Each square on the checkerboard changed colors when he stepped on it.

Jake was in the back yard, he saw turtles and said "hey turtles what are you guys doing", they said "oh we're dining...we're dining in." he said "ok cool". He picked a plant out of the ground and put it in a bucket of water and it started growing in his hand.

Jake was in the bathroom and saw a girl's hair on the floor and thought it was snakes and thought they were all over him so he got in the shower.

"Hey look everybody, it's eight hits jake!"

"Hey eight hits, whats up?"

6👍 6👎

bank job

Using any paper currency in the palm of a hand while sexually massaging the male genitalia.

ie. handjob with money

"Bro, I just found a hundred dollar bill, and i'm out of lotion. I'm bout to give myself the illest bank job ever."

"Yo, my girl got paid yesterday and gave me the best bank job. She used a brand new Hamilton."

14👍 9👎