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When you are late pretty much everywhere you go, but when you arrive at the destination or event that you are late to, everyone at said event or destination that has been blowing up your phone asking and wondering where you are and why you are so late (again), is no where near being ready to participate in the aforementioned event.
Dude, yeah, I know I was an hour late to my wedding, but of course when I got there half of you were not even ready yet. All I saw were thumbs in belt loops while you were working on beer #5. Such a typical Matthew Duffy, if you ask me.
Although the exact ratio can vary from situation to situation, this is the state one can find oneself in when they are a combination of both SLOPPY (drunk) and RANDY (horny / sexually aroused / it's 2:01 AM and you just don't want to leave the bar alone again). Depending on where you land on this spectrum, or where your friends are trying to warn you that you have landed, you are most likely going to be making either a big mistake very soon, or a big big mistake very soon (read: waking up in the morning with a strobe light ho).
Please note that it is very rare in which being SLANDY in any capacity will result in any kind of story that you would tell your mother about or mention the next time you are giving a talk in church.
"Hey Pamela, it's me. I can't believe I did it again. Everything was going well until Brad from Accounting started buying us all shots and I saw my ex walk in the bar with some cheap looking floozy. I wanted to make him jealous so bad and before I knew it I grabbed Brad and stared making out with him. Next thing I know we are in an Uber on the way to his house. At that point I was SLANDY AF and I was like 'whatever, I can't see straight but I need some action, let's do this.' Anyways, can you please pick me up at Brad's ASAP? I need to sneak out of here before he and his wife wake up. Hurry."
That's a long antennae that goes twangy, twangy, twangy.
Just got passed by a good old boy in an old pick 'em up truck and that boy had him a redneck whip that was whipping back and forth and around and up and down and every which way but loose, I leaned my head out the window just a bit and damned if that thing didn't' just give me the closest shave I have ever had.
That's an antennae.
Breaker, breaker to that gear jammer in the mobile thermos bottle that just passed me in that old cab-over Pete, cuz you are goin where I ain'. If you been scratchin your head and wondering why you haven't been copied on any Bear Reports or been given the whereabouts of the local yocals settin up traps on the overpass, well driver that's because your whip done blowed right off your right fender and she's just scrapin' an d sparkin' all over that two lane blacktop. Don't know if you got a copy on this here transmission, but ya can't say that I never did gaurantoldya. 10-4
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