Fangirl

Guys help I'm not even kidding Indya Moore is so pretty oh my god she's gorgeous I want her to be my wife

Fangirl: omg did you see *name of random K-pop idol* last night at the *random awards show* his outfit was so cute
Me: *SCREAMING*

Blind

Blind is a turn often used to describe the visually impaired yet has a true meaning lost in translation...
A person who needs glasses to see is the purest form of blindness. Nobody understands their pain because they assume the glasses help them see just a little bit clearer when in reality, no matter nearsightedness or farsightedness, the accumulating blur that becomes your vision over the years of letting your eyes use bifocals as a crutch becomes humiliating. The slight wrongness of your sight is like having a popcorn kernel stuck up your a- I mean, in your teeth. And when fate leads you to be unable to fix a slight irritation, either by a scratch on your lenses or the way you look without your glasses on!...that is true blindness.

Fabio: "Dude have you seen my glasses? I can't see anything, I'm blind."

Todd: "I thought you were nearsighted...?"
Fabio: "Don't fucking bully me my pain is far greater than any of your peasant mind can handle!"
Todd: "Ok, good point. Your glasses are on your head."

Fabio: *screams of pain*

Aspergers

Aspergers is when you can make great jokes and lose your shit without understanding why people are upset with you. It's great for being a memelord but pretty fucking lame for like, not feeling completely self isolated and alone all of the time due to your crushing lack of people skills, comprehension or even the friends to help you...also you get mad pussy 😎

Weird Kid: *reaches for bag*
Me: rEeeeee
Everyone: Aspergers kid saved the day again! *proceeds to bow down to me like 12 yr olds to the kid with the most fidget spinners in 2016*