invest

(v.) just one step away from "incest" on a pc keyboard. Not to be confused.

Family ties within corporations can seriously affect opportunities to invest.

15👍 30👎

chavesty

(i) baseball cap; sovereign ring; prison-white clothing; antisocial, ultraviolent behaviour; costume bling-bling; interbred relationships; in fact, anything to do with a chav's sad little life

(ii) chav's pronunciation of the English noun "travesty" (rarely attempted)

it's a complete chavesty

3👍 7👎

treasure

c*nt (cockney rhyming slang: "treasure hunt"), specifically person who acts like a c*nt, a badly-behaved child, etc.

Mum: Hope Johnny wasn't too much of a handful while we were out.

Babysitter: Oh, he was a real treasure.

3👍 22👎

surfer

What a Brummie sits on in his living room while he's watching tv

Ah fucken loov me big comfy surfer, me.

33👍 66👎

delivariables

n. pl. c/f advertising. the demands set out in a brief for the agency to deliver to the client on a given date, agreed upon at length, set in stone, and destined to be changed over and over again until the deadline passes.

suit: we need a new campaign by the end of the day

creative team: (sigh) Not a chance in hell.... What are the delivariables?

wardrobe malfunction

(n.) (i) The name given to the dominant gene responsible for a chav's unfortunate selection of apparel.

(ii) The almost inevitable outcome of trying to assemble flatpack furniture from such wonderful people as IKEA due to missing/wrong screws/instructions, etc.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!! I don't believe it! Not again! This happens every bloody time, etc., etc.

81👍 16👎

breakfarce

(n.) descriptive of one of those days when you burn your toast, spill coffee down your shirt, dip your tie in breakfast cereal milk, and things go generally wrong. Also known as a mourning.

Aw, mate. What a nightmare. Today I had a full-on breakfarce.

2👍 4👎