screamer

an extremely strong alcoholic beverage.

"damn, preston is making screamers tonight"

12👍 88👎

fakin' a duke

when you tell your girlfriend that you have to take a shit but you really go into the bathroom to jack-off

"Ashley and I were watching a clockwork orange last night and i totally ended up fakin' a duke after that rape scene"

6👍 3👎

jackoff hands

the way that your hands smell when you just get done masturbating. its a combination of spit and dick.

eli: whats up dude
*hand shake*
michael: oh sick dude, whats all over your hands? smells like shit
eli: oh, i was jacking off on my way over here.
michael: jackoff hands!!

11👍 2👎

cargaritas

When all the bars are closed because of carona virus but they sell drinks to go in styrofoam cups and you drink them driving around in your car because you’re tired of being at home.

Me: are you done with with work? Let’s go get some cargaritas.

Her: YAHTZEE, I’ll grab some hand sanitizer.

straight freaked

incredibly intoxicated, usually to the point that you cannot speak or think.

chris: where'd you party last night? by the time i saw you, you were wobbly-bonesin'

eli: oooo yeah, i was straight freaked.